Monday, November 1, 2010

Welcome Nalini

In the middle of the night, someone else was with us. Govi and I sleeping together, as always, but this night, someone else was in the room. Some sort of shrieking and bitter scream, a giant's footsteps, a blow to the head, and the collapse that made time feel final. A strange, sudden moment of darkness. And then, Aaron screaming in my ear, "Stay with me, Arch." My numb lips asking him to stop. Children. Judah, jumping up and down, frantically yelling. Four sets of terrified eyes upon me. Dizziness and drool and barf and sirens. Medics. A bunch of them huddled around me, most of them useless, asking me all sorts of necessary questions. I could barely recollect my own name as the questions came. Large boots and swift footsteps carried me away as I laid strapped to a board, carelessly duck-tapped. I felt the night's chill reaching for my toes, my legs felt frigid, as I realized that half of my body was entirely soaked. Drenched. And I knew that something strange had happened, in the middle of the night, and that I would labor soon. And I realized that Haile would not be born at home. And I slept.

IV's, antibiotics, and some other weird shit that made my tongue feel as though it might slip right out of my mouth. And bags and bags and bags of blood. I felt like a vampire.

Dr. Leon. All that I remember are his dark evil eyebrows, inducing my labor only to kick me out of his hospital. Thank the gods that Tosi stayed with us through out all of this. Another ambulance ride. It felt like Nicholas Cage was driving and I was on my way to Hell.

It wasn't as bad as I had imagined. The birth, wild and magnificent, was as I had dreamed it would be and, fortunately, I was able to remember every movement, mine and hers. Until the moment when I held her tiny body against my chest, did I realize that six sets of arms were waiting to whisk her away from me. And the nightmare became my reality again.

Eleven days in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit for a baby that didn't exactly need to stay so long. Laissez faire doctors, stubborn 'know it all' nurses, my rage and helpless bitterness, and all the while, a little lady's very first days upon this planet.

Certainly, our bravest little star yet.
She rumbled her way unto Earth, waking up her momma,
and setting a striking presence right away.

Our wee little beauty.
Her brothers waited so patiently to have her at home.
And when she finally made her way here, they loved her so deeply.

An overwhelming pregnancy, a sudden awakening, her hurried hello.
We called her Haile, at first, she is nothing we've ever known before.
A delicate little gift, the Universe does answer all prayers, and our tiniest beam of light.
Welcome to Tribe littlest one.

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