In the middle of the night,
when my brother would howl in fits of laughter
I would carry a candle into his room.
His eyes lay dead
his mouth curled open, pink and red.
Some nights, his face would melt and his hair turned gray.
In the mornings, I would ask my mother,
"At that hour of night, what does he see?"
She resigned my worry, "He is eating cake on the moon, my dear."
Each evening, I followed his fit,
holding a beam over his head.
His laughter frozen, his tongue long and loose.
Every night, his sheets were damp,
his hand held still.
In my ears, his titter turned to a hollowed scream.
On the sixth night, his skin covered in miry film
his room, a bulk of heathered mist.
What would I see if I stayed through the night?
At his feet, I slipped into sleep
My eyes glued shut,
my mouth began a howl in laughter.
From the corner, something came
I could hear my brother, still,
his weeping laughter.
In the morning
patches of skin had fallen from my feet,
teeth and hair were scattered around his room.
My mother asked why I stayed in his bed.
"He was lonely Mother,
so he took me to the moon."
Visceral..sad..almost like the naivety of youth being ravaged by the night..and yet innocence and hope remains in their..shared..trip to the moon..wonderfully written..Jae
ReplyDeleteThank you. Sometimes it is only that one other person who sees.
Deletewow...i like the shared experience though...it shows great empathy..there is a sadness there as well in what was shared...fantastical as well...
ReplyDeleteThanks Brian! 'Fantastical', I like the way you see it.
Deletea sad poem, but very profound.
ReplyDeleteNutschell
www.thewritingnut.com
Thank you for reading, Nutschell!
DeleteHow sweet and touching. I agree... fantastical.
ReplyDeleteThanks Laurie!
DeleteWow... cake on the moon. It's an amazing write. Shared dreams and hair, teeth and skin scattered around the room. Yes, it's innocence and yet, the night is the scary part. It is a bit fantasty like, yet, I can 'see' this happening too.
ReplyDeleteA lovely read :)
Thanks so much for looking deeply into it. :)
Deletereminds me of the whimsical poetry in Alice in Wonderland.Well done Archna
ReplyDeleteThose are the loveliest pieces! What a wonderful compliment, Sheilagh. :)
Deletewhoa, archna. your poem is amazing and your mind must
ReplyDeletealso be creatively amazing. i love eating cake on the
moon and he was lonely so he took me to the moon.
yum!
Thanks Paige. It's fun to go into those places sometimes. :)
DeleteVery creative! Loved this one.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Sherry!
DeleteSad..as if your brother is no longer with you anymore . You remember your magical times as children together.Wistful.
ReplyDeleteThere might have been a brother, my mother tells me, but I only know my sister. Thanks for reading so carefully, Rallentanda. :)
DeleteWhimsical and frightening at the same time. I've always been drawn to nighttime and the moon's mystery, so I love the metaphors.
ReplyDeleteIt's the same for me, I can't go without knowing the moon. Thanks for reading, Ann.
DeleteI have some chapters of your to catch up on. Soon!
DeleteThis reminds me of a "boy" I used to babysit, although he was years older than I at the time. He suffered brain damage at the age of three when he was involved in a car crash. He was never again functional or mobile. It's painful to write about.
ReplyDeleteThese are the lines that make me see something going on other than nightmares:
"His laughter frozen, his tongue long and loose.
Every night, his sheets were damp"
These are my favorite lines:
"Some nights, his face would melt"
"He is eating cake on the moon, my dear"
"In my ears, his titter turned to a hollowed scream"
"his room, a bulk of heathered mist"
"At his feet, I slipped into sleep"
Oh my gosh, what an amazing and heavy ending:
"He was lonely Mother,
so he took me to the moon."
It may not have been your intent, but this is heartbreaking to me as I remember my Jeffrey. And I will end here because now you have me crying. :)
Dear Shawna, please don't cry. I knew of more than nightmares when I sat down to write this also. Only intention was to provoke a moment of selfless love, I'm most certain that you know about that. :) I'm happy to know that you loved Jeffrey so much. Thanks for sharing that.
DeleteSuch a strong, sad piece. Very touching.
ReplyDeleteThanks for reading Angel!
DeleteThis is powerful, ethereal stuff. Beautifully done.
ReplyDeletede
www.whimsygizmo.wordpress.com
Thank you, De.
DeleteHmm...sad....maybe I didn't get all the reasons here..but eating cake on moon is a lovely fantasy...
ReplyDeleteYes, it simply tastes good just saying so, huh?! :)
DeleteWow! I am not a master fo fantasy, so this was quite a read for me.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.kimnelsonwrites.com/2012/06/08/lighten-your-own-load/
Thanks for stopping by, Kim. I've been enjoying your thoughts lately. :)
DeleteVery atmospheric, and extremely creepy, as well as melancholy. Loved it *smile*
ReplyDelete*smiling* thanks! Nice to meet you!
DeleteI love the way you put your thoughts on paper or a blog.
ReplyDelete"Cakes on the moon"...your mind really comes up with some great poetry
Thanks GS, for coming down this way!!
Delete