A dust of snow melts in red
Dust I catch in waves, my letters
of skin, my morning steal, head peel
Snow eats, worn through the mist in.
Melts through cell, seed, kiss helps me
in hearts he lays, heal this color
Red layer moves still, night source real.
Written for dVerse Poets where Samuel Peralta asks that we write a Square Poem today.
that red layer moving at night, red is so hard to see at night, and so is hidden healing of the heart.
ReplyDeletezealous wives
Love it!
ReplyDeleteAn attempt at a 7x7 square poem! There are a few bits that don't work with Carroll's strict definition, but a creditable poem nonetheless, with some poignancy where the variations occur.
ReplyDeletevery cool....nicely done to form...some nice internal rhyme mixed in as well...nice imagery too the snow melting red...i rather like your break in form for the last line...smiles.
ReplyDeletenow..you even went for a 7 x 7 - quite the challenge.. i like the dust of snow melting
ReplyDeleteWonderful tactile imagery, very well done.
ReplyDeleteAwesome job with the form here. Really amazed at how you were able to tell this all poetically, even while you kept true to the form itself. Really a great job. Thanks
ReplyDeleteA unique color to the morning ~
ReplyDeleteNice one ~
Loved the imagery here! And such a beautiful play on words...gives the poem a nice, dreamy feel....
ReplyDeleteI had previously not heard of a square poem. Seven by seven. I thought you did a really good job with it. I like the red morning.
ReplyDeleteThe girl with her head in the clouds.
ReplyDeleteThis looks square enough to me, and is a real poem.
Love these:
ReplyDelete"melts in red"
"my letters of skin"
"head peel"
"Snow eats"
"Red layer moves still"
I'm picturing a woman kneeling by her dead husband (probably metaphorically, as this happened somewhere else or in time past). I think he is perhaps still alive in their hearts, blood still moving in spirit.
This feels dark and heavy and painful. Of course, I might be completely off base.
I like this - I like this better than I might because it doesn't quite match the rules :)
ReplyDelete